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“Scams In The Big Apple”

Make Mine Well Done And On The House

It’s seventy-five degrees, cool breeze blowing, beautiful summer evening at a prominent watering hole and steakhouse on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. The restaurant is doing a brisk business both indoors and in its outdoor/patio service. Patrons are happy, jovial, sipping their drinks and enjoying a nice meal, good company, pleasant conversation, and a relaxed atmosphere.

Guy walks in off the street, impeccably dressed, warm smile, steps up to bar and asks bartender for John. Bartender replies that John left establishment about one year ago. Fella looks disappointed but peruses menu anyway and orders most expensive cut of steak from this well-known steakhouse. He enjoys a martini while awaiting his well-done steak. While taking in the ambiance and frivolity, he engages others at bar in friendly conversation – discussing local politics and the day’s headline news.

After his hearty meal, he orders another martini, followed by a glass of Muscata, a fine Italian dessert wine. He then orders dessert and in the meantime steps outside to apparently have a smoke – as other diners were also doing.

The well-dressed, suave, friendly, conversational gentleman never returns and the bartender is stuck with a bill of $125.00.

Rumor has it that this fella enjoys his evening meals repeating this episode in fancy restaurants across town

Ketchup, Anyone?

Middle-Aged man in Texas hat and cowboy boots strolls in to Mickey D’s in Rockefeller Center area. Walks up to cashier and bellows, “Give me a Texas-sized burger and some good old Southern fries!” Cashier corrects and fills his order and he grabs a seat. Everyone stares at him as he rapidly devours meal, belches loudly, and gets up to put on top half of rodeo outfit – a stylish denim jacket that he had hung on chair back.

Man and woman seated behind jump up and point out to him that there’s a heap of ketchup and mustard at back of his jacket. Woman grabs his jacket and whips out tissue from purse to render assistance. Meantime her male companion engages Texas man in conversation about weather in NYC, asks tourist how’s it down there in Texas, is Bush still a popular hombre there, etc.

Wiped jacket returned to grateful man from Texas who profusely thanks couple for kindness. Couple exit hurriedly saying they’re in a rush for the early matinee at Radio City. Texas man leaves Mickey D’s, then moments later runs back in yelling, “I’ve lost my wallet and my cell phone that were in my jacket! Anybody found them?!”

The ketchup scam strikes again.

“Relocating To Somewhere New”

There’s so much at stake when one uproots oneself from a place called home, perhaps all one’s life, to relocate elsewhere. Even though one may have done all the research and taken all the intelligent steps, one can find that, years after one has relocated, one falls into a number of categories. One may end up disappointed, ecstatic, or just about on average satisfied that one has done the right thing.

We are all different and each of us may have different visions than another individual or individuals. This is so true in just about anything in life – occupation, entertainment, dining, neighborhoods, religious and ethnic backgrounds and dispositions…and certainly in being happy in a new locale, state, or part of the world.

Perhaps that is why we can never visit online or other forums for absolute approval or disapproval of a desire to live somewhere. We can be guided only so much by others’ experiences, points of view, and their stories of success or failure.

We must also constantly be aware that so much goes into making a place of residence the place that it is – weather, jobs, traffic, crime, religious and political climate, level of tolerance for others of differing perspectives, cultural opportunities, recreation, dining, entertainment, educational infrastructure, access to decent medical care, family and friends…and the list goes on.

We can do all the research online on forums and other sites, we can visit different areas for extended periods, chat with locals, read local newspapers and use other media – all good to go. I believe, however, that in the final analysis, we sometimes can never know unless we try it out by actually living somewhere. However, though it’s not foolproof, doing all the necessary research, visits, and soul-searching can at least give us a clearer idea of whether we should eliminate a place from our list or go right on ahead with the relocation plans.

There will always be pros and cons wherever we go in life, in whichever part of the world or the country we yearn for. And what’s fantastic for one person is a disappointment for another. At least by exploring the pros and cons which a very large percentage of people experience, one can determine whether: (a) one can be happy with such a list or (b) one does not feel the same way as the majority and therefore need not be guided accordingly.

Potential transplants must also determine whether they have the financial, emotional, and other resources to fall back on should they decide that their new locale is not the place to be. Or at least they might evaluate whether they can make the best of a bad situation and move on with life. Then, of course, they might just find out that moving to their new town, city, or country was the best decision they ever made.

“Exorbitant Salaries For Athletes And Entertainers – Price Tag For Capitalism”

There is obviously a glaring inequity in value placed on many professions by the marketplace.

Unfortunately, the workings of supply and demand do not always bring about equity and fair play. To be sure, they sometimes result in unfavorable allocation of resources or morally unethical consequences. It is, in my opinion, a scar on our collective psyche as Americans, that we place such a hefty premium on being entertained that we do not mind as a society that our ballplayers, movie stars, other entertainers earn bizarre sums while those who strive professionally to make the world a better place earn pittances.

Teachers, doctors, paramedics, a host of workers in assorted fields from health care to home care to education – many with high academic credentials – are in the front lines, sometimes even the “battlefields,” working to heal, educate, uplift us for abysmally low compensation when compared to the professional athlete or entertainer – a majority of whom, by all accounts, lack the rigors of an extensive, sometimes even a rudimentary educational background. Many also lack charisma, decorum, moral and professional values, making their spot in the limelight as role models for our young even more bewildering and incredible.

It is a sad commentary on all of us that we continue to participate as consumers in the processes that result in the flow of millions to athletes while many public school teachers tell daily of the horror stories they experience at pitifully low compensation – venturing in front of classrooms across the country trying to mould young minds while risking their own.

Yes, there is no applause from fans at the end of the day, just a lonely ride home sometimes through dangerous neighborhoods for a well-earned respite, while the off-season athlete who can barely spell his own name heads off to the islands for more fun and splendor.

There is a price, unfortunately, that we all pay for the economic and political freedoms that we enjoy as Americans. This is but one item on that price tag.

As much as I abhor it, I am willing – and I believe that most of us also are so inclined – to pay that price to keep our way of life, our freedoms to work, to choose our presidents and our professions, and to entertain and be entertained by athletes and other highly paid entertainers.

In America, we’ll take the bad with the good.

“Fictional Tidbits?”

Lunch Money

I remember in junior high when I’d wink at a girl and she’d spend her lunch money on me. Now she winks at me and I spend my paycheck on her.

Church Dance

My church holds a lovely dance once a month as part of our dance club events. Everyone gets dressed up in their Sunday best – men in tuxedos, ladies in flowing gowns, and we show up on a Sunday night in the old church barn. The Reverend and his wife lead us in some good old folksy square dancing. An old spinster member of our congregation acts as chaperone to ensure that dancing pairs keep a measurable distance of about 1.5 feet apart and that the only body contact is the occasional holding of hands.

We then take a break after a few dances and sit in opposite rows – men on one side and women on the other. The Reverend’s wife then serves us some nice homemade lemonade and freshly baked cookies.

After that repast, we then return to the floor and have a jolly time doing the Polka – in honor of the Central European founders of our church. After an hour or two the dance is over and the dance club chalks up another great event on its calendar.

Then under the supervision of our spinster deaconess, we men kneel and kiss the hands of our dancing belles and wish them a goodnight as we head home with wonderful memories of a great evening at our club!

Just Another Plain Man In The Big Apple

A plain man would be someone like me – he wears a mop head hairstyle, washed-out denim jeans year round, white T-shirt in the summer but goes out on a limb with a colored one in the winter. He walks around with a yellow notebook and Bic pen as if he’s on an important mission while he’s really just comparative shopping for the price of paper towels around his neighborhood.

He dresses plainly and speaks softly. When he approaches a woman he’s interested in at a party, his best line is, “Hey, haven’t I seen you before?” His wallet is usually empty except for car fare. At a ball game his only excitement is watching the mascots perform. In his entire lifetime, he’s gone on only one or two dates, he’s kissed a woman once on the cheek, eats peanut butter sandwiches daily, enjoys sitting on a park bench with his favorite parakeet, a Spider-Man comic book in his lap, and occasionally peering over his eyeglasses as a lovely woman passes by.

His whole demeanor spells plain, lacking enthusiasm or excitement, a man of modest attire and even more modest means. Any glance from a young female passerby is always to the older, grandfatherly, grey-haired, dapper gentleman strolling along beside him on a crowded street.

Rendezvous In The Park

I once was with a very attractive young woman, tightly holding hands as we caressed in Central Park one beautiful autumn evening a few years back. Suddenly, a pair of Polish women walked by muttering in their language, unaware that I was familiar with their dialect, “He ought to be ashamed, potbellied, goatee, toupee. Wonder where he got those red overalls and green shirt. And look at his yellow shoes. That cute chick must be loco to hang with that old geezer!”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I later discovered that my lady friend also understood the dialect and I never heard from her again.

Pigeons, Go Away!

Pigeons have become a menace on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I can’t even use a terrace because of them – so I’d say I prefer the good old days when they would just fly away at the sight of a human being. Some people follow a strange religion that demands that they feed the pigeons on the street each day. Now the pigeons never leave for the parks anymore. They settle on people’s terraces, use it as a bathroom, lunch room, and bedroom with their mates.

You try to clean your terrace, but they come back with siblings and friends to throw a party and it’s back to square one. I’ve actually given up and don’t use the terrace anymore.

Oh, for the good old days when they would see a human being and at least fly off a little. Now they actually laugh at me when I try to shoo them off the terrace. They even bring their friends to join in my humiliation and to do a song and a dance right in front of me.

“America”

I know America is not a perfect place. No place is. But it so irks me to see the hate toward this awesome country emanating from people right here, and from all over the world, people who blame us for everything bad under the sun since the dawning of civilization – even though America is only part of the New World.

Yet, millions continue to flock to the shores of this beautiful land seeking a better life. They come from countries far and wide with varying forms of government – communist, socialist, secular, theocratic, monarchical, royal; countries that are poor, rich, not so rich

Sure America does not have an unblemished history, Sure, it’s taken generations for it to live up to the promises in its glorious Constitution. Sure, we’ve made blunders around the world. But we’ve also sacrificed the lives of Americans in uniform answering the calls of the distressed and oppressed in country after country. The sad reality, though, is that sometimes the same ones who cry out for our help often eventually assail us for being there.

We are often accused of seeking oil where there is none, seeking profits where all that exists are barren lands, grieving mothers and children, oppressed peoples, and belligerents hiding in mountains seeking to take us out for anything generous we do – from humanitarian aid to military assistance offered in response to the cries for help.

Let the record be clear. This is one immigrant writer who thanks God every day for bringing him to the shores of the blessed USA.

Even though I am cognizant of the inequities that still exist, of the mistakes that will always be made, America is like a lover. You take her as she is with all her faults because you love her immensely. You recognize your own imperfections and thus do not expect her to be perfect. You’ve tried other experiences and have found out that in life there is no perfection, for we are still all human. But you also know that the one you hold close to your bosom is the one who drives you wild with passion, the one who takes you to the peaks of mountaintops that no one else can, even if they might have a few characteristics that you wish your lover had.

Then again, you reflect, that there is no other who completes you like the one you have fallen for. The one you hold dear in your heart is the one that you will stand up for – come hell or high water. I’ll stand up for America while accepting its imperfections. And I won’t reciprocate animosity to those around the globe who have a love/hate perspective on America.

I’m just thankful that I’m here, that my love is here, and I’ll use my pen to continue to fervently express my admiration for the love of my life.

“Movements Of People In Search Of Better Lives – Another Perspective”

The world, we have been taught and have come to believe, was created by God Almighty. Human labor exists wherever there is habitable land mass. Natural resources are not evenly distributed among countries and regions. Colonialism was not generally premised on a flow of development in two directions. Europe was largely the beneficiary of the goodies secured from exploited new territories. Natives and transplanted, sometimes coerced labor, were exploited so that resources could be tapped.

When the conscience of humankind was finally roused enough to demand the end of slavery, genocide against natives, and other forms of injustices by foreign entities, the power structures changed around the globe. But when the smoke cleared and the dust settled, nations and individuals were left in economic and political disarray.

The uneven distribution of natural resources, the one way flow of goods and services secured by outside interlopers using coerced labor, the forced movements of entire cultures and peoples away from their traditional lands and hunting grounds and agrarian lifestyles – all these events have resulted in imbalances in the world economy. People will do what is necessary to feed themselves and their families and thus will gravitate toward regions and countries that offer opportunities for survival or for better lives.

To be sure, even in God’s Good Earth, countries do need to safeguard their borders, their citizens’ jobs, and their economies. But in this era of global economics, exportation of jobs, free trade, and other geo-political activity, the historical movements of people in search of livelihoods will continue. It must be remembered that many great nations, including America, have been founded by immigrants, or in many cases, forcibly acquired from others.

People uprooting and transplanting do not do so whimsically for there are often substantial adverse cultural, familial, and personal consequences. Understanding that human civilization did not occur in neat, orderly, equitable patterns – and that many areas of the world, and millions of people, were displaced as a price of progress by others – will better serve us when we examine immigration issues. When contemporary geo-political factors are considered also, one can have a better perspective on this sometimes volatile issue.

“The Importance of Due Process”

People around the world often wonder why it is that defendants in the most heinous crimes are guaranteed legal representation here in the USA – regardless of economic status or financial ability and/or the nature of the crime. There is a book, “Gideon’s Trumpet,” by a renowned author which discusses the struggles of a poor Florida defendant decades ago to garner the benefit of legal counsel.

America has not always had a level playing field. Historically, there have been many injustices perpetrated against individuals and groups by the status quo – and some might argue that even today, some injustices continue. The amazing thing though about America, is that its principles of justice and equality enshrined in its Constitution have stood the test of time. Those lofty principles may not always have been practiced, but with the passage of each dispensation, as the years go by, there has been a natural progression toward their application to broader elements within society.

We are often disgusted, and rightfully so, at the atrocities, the brutalities, the sickening acts committed by those who have little or no regard for the rights or lives of others. But should we as a people fail to provide the right to legal defense for everyone, regardless of financial means or the nature of the charges, then we run the risk of regressing to the era of lynch mobs, as once existed here in parts of the USA, or to holding kangaroo courts as existed in the aftermath of revolutions and in other circumstances in some parts of the world.

History is replete with examples of fabricated and planted evidence, false confessions beaten out of accused, bigotry, prejudice against individuals or groups, and the denial of the rights to justice and fair play – and often, though not exclusively, it is disadvantaged or poor individuals who’ve ended up at the short end of the stick.

Unfortunately, the status quo in some parts of the world still do not provide for due process for accused who are often sentenced by both secular and theocratic governments without their rights to legal representation being guaranteed.

We are a blessed nation that we’ve come a long way since those days

“Hustling, Bustling!”

Hustling, Bustling
Running to and fro
Traffickers abound
The streets are full

Someone slides
Another collides
No one cries
No one comforts
The traffic goes on

Hustling, Bustling
The lights say red
But everyone says go

Warnings, Shrieks, Bang!
Another fatality
One more gone

Hustling, Bustling
No time for the disabled
No comfort for the weary
No hope for the dreary

Hustling, Bustling
Everyone in a hurry
Everyone’s on the go
Friend and foe

But whither to they rush?

‘Tis a good question you ask
For those who travel the STREETS OF LIFE.

“Broken Heart, Broken Dream”

How quickly dreams shatter
And illusions disappear
I thought you loved me too
Oh, What a fool I was
To give my heart to you

Like a fleeting shadow
You have swiftly emerged and disappeared
Into the misty past
Reserved only for loves
That did not last

Hopes soar high and lofty
Then sink low
Beyond mortal grasp
Seems it’s all part
Of life’s unending story

This chapter has so soon elapsed
Life’s challenges once more
Must now be faced
God will, I am sure
Heal the heart
That lies now
So wounded and sore.

“Weather For Leather?!”

“While we were courting, I noticed that whenever it rained a little her eyes would light up, and she’d whisper to herself, ‘weather for leather.’ I thought nothing of it for I assumed she meant she would get the proper gear for a rainy day. Yeah, she did…but it was not what I had imagined.

“On our honeymoon, lightning and thunder filled the sky and the rain commenced a heavy downpour just as I turned out the lights in our newly- wed suite.

“In no time at all, she whipped out some leather and all i could do was run helter-skelter buck naked from that room. I never looked back…and up to today whenever a date tells me she likes weather for leather, I take off full speed”…”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”

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