“When I was a kid, Uncle Joe mentored me on the facts of life. One thing he always told me is, ‘Johnny, when you grow up, never chase after a woman. The key is to always play hard to get. If you run after them, they’ll feel superior and haughty. Turn the tables on them, and let them come after you!’

“Well, the years have gone by, I’m getting grey, and no woman is coming my way. I don’t know if it’s my hairstyle, my outfits, my personality, or my looks – but I’ve never had a lady run after me.

“So now, I’m easy to get….but still no one’s knocking on my door.. I tried to contact Old Uncle Joe to find out how come his formula never worked for me . But Mama told me he passed on years ago. He died a bachelor in a Himalayan village where women outnumbered men five to one.

“Poor Uncle Joe! All his life, he employed the wrong strategy. I should have followed my other uncle – Uncle Sam. He always chased after a beautiful skirt – and his arms were always full with gorgeous ladies, and his nights joyous and bountiful”….”‘The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon” – as narrated to Miles Alex.