Category: Love and Relationships (Page 1 of 2)

There’s something awesome about romantic love that has made it the subject matter of writers, singers, artistes of every genre and caliber, psychology and medical journals, and a host of media and entertainment forums from time immemorial.

The thing about romance is that, while sex can be part of it, it is far more powerful on the human psyche than sex alone can ever be. The love that a man can feel for a woman and vice versa can lift their spirits toimmeasurable heights or bring them down to a bottomless pit never before imaginable. Love has even sometimes destroyed kings and queens, brought down giants and empires, and wreaked havoc everywhere from palaces to humble abodes.

These days, a happy marriage can truly be listed among life’s rarities.The thing about marriage is that the family structure has been the foundation of stable societies for most of recorded human history. When families disintegrate there is a domino effect on the rest of society.

People stay together in unhappy relationships for a multitude of reasons – emotional, financial, the passage of time and the years invested, children, relatives, and other similar factors.

“The thing about modern long-term romantic or marital relationships is that you usually enter them with a big smile on your face, but you never know for sure if a bad turn can wipe it off.

“Most often, you care for someone and they care for you. You invest time, energy, money, emotion also. So you try to overcome the obstacles and roadblocks along the way.

“Sometimes you can pull through and put that smile back on again. Sadly, sometimes, the smile can be lost forever.”…”Reflections of A Writer”…Miles Alex.

Artistes, songwriters, poets, musicians, actors and actresses all tell the story of love through voice, words, instruments, videos, film, and stage.

It is a story as old as mankind’s history. Yet it never loses its allure, its joys, or its sadness. Yes, it is often a story whose beginning is usually captivating and alluring – but whose ending can be one of triumph…or of turmoil and broken dreams.

The news is often filled with stories of triangular love affairs which result in the death of a spouse, and sometimes his or her lover, at the hands of an enraged marital or romantic partner gone ballistic. The legal system goes to work rapidly and once caught, the murderer – more often than not, a male – faces swift justice in the courts for the crime committed.

I often hear, though, individuals commenting that a specific murdered spouse deserved what they got for being “unfaithful.” It seems that while the law always recognizes the criminality of murder, moral condemnation is sometimes lacking, or is several steps behind.

What a beautiful addition to the planet it was when God created man and woman…or for the naysayers, when Nature put the first male and female on the earth’s surface.

For six thousand years of recorded history, men and women have been an item, physically, emotionally, romantically, coming together as one and in so doing perpetuating the human race and adding stability to villages, tribes, countries, regions, societies throughout the world.

Relationships between men and women aren’t always easy and may never have been. The very biological and emotional differences which define and separate the two genders sometimes lead tomisunderstandings and turbulent relationships. To be sure, the astounding and amazing interaction of man and woman comes along with a price tag.

The wondrous beauty, curves, sexuality, finesse, softer touch, deeper emotions of the female species vis-a-vis the outwardly more robust, sterner, less finished, apparently (but not actually) less emotional facade of the male can come together to create a lifetime of emotional and physical satiety unrivaled in human experience. The same can also create tremendous interpersonal conflict.

Many have tried and are still experimenting with alternatives to the man-woman relationship…but I daresay that despite the awesome challenges that men and women face in their relationships with each other, the intent of God and Nature operating under normal forces to foster incomparable pleasure while sustaining civilization cannot be beat by alternative humanly contrived models.

In the garden of life and love, you will one day find the rose that you pluck, and that you hold close to your bosom. That rose becomes yours to keep, to cherish, to caress, and to hold beside you always.

There’ll always be another beauty, another hunk, another attractive and warm person who comes along your way. The rose you plucked did not deplete the garden. The soil will continue to flourish and beautify the scenery and add luster to life for all those who pass by. But the bloom you picked is the one that you value most.

As a writer, I write the way I feel, fully cognizant that I do not have a monopoly on understanding all of life’s complexities, or of calling them right for anyone or everyone sometimes, or all the time. I continue to express my thoughts in written word, for it is my anointment from my Creator, it is my talent to express my perspectives through the written medium – and leave it to the reader to ponder, to digest, and to discard or re-evaluate.

Take my perspectives on modern marriages, for example. I firmly believe that in the 21st century, it is imperative that couples recognize that no one person can fulfill all the requirements that another has in order to enjoy life in all its manifestations. No partner, no matter how valuable or valued by a mate, can wear all caps, can meet all the emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and other legitimate needs that one has.

A lover, a spouse cannot be the sole friend, confidante, advisor, cannot bear all the burdens or satisfy all the needs a human being has. To be sure, it is an unfair burden to expect all these of a partner.

It is important that one should hold the object of one’s love in the highest regard and give one’s maximum to that person. One must, however, never shut oneself out from others. No man or woman, no couple is an island unto himself, herself, or themselves. Always leave room in life to enjoy and share with others – loving relatives, caring friends, associates, and others along the way.

Life in the modern era cannot be fully enjoyed if partners so immerse themselves in each other that others are shut out, that social lives and interactions with others are dead,

Such a state of affairs, can in fact, be detrimental. Jealousy, possessiveness, total absorption in a partner which leaves no breathing room for him or her to travel with others or to share with others, expectations for him or her to fulfill all one’s needs in life – these can, in my estimation, cause relationships to become trite and gloomy – and worse yet, even end up in the junk heap.

Love can be so powerful, inexplicable, and irrational at times. Yet, with all the broken marriages and disintegrating relationships around, surely one must strive to inject the brain into the heart, shouldn’t one?

There’s always the danger that the heart alone will lead one in pursuit of a glistening star, but then suddenly drop one into a valley of gloom and darkness.