Category: Comedy (Page 1 of 3)

“All Set For Winter!”

September 29, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“Here in the Northeast USA, I hear attractive people complain all the time during the winter months that it’s so darned cold and unbearable. Yet, I often see the same folks scurrying around outside wearing mini-skirts, sleeveless tops, and no hats.

“I tell ya, it pays to not be good-looking. See, take me, for example, I don’t have to make snap decisions when the temps plunge on whether to put health before beauty or beauty before health.

“I bundle up with my ski-mask, ear muffs, hoodie, and I’m all set. And for some strange reason, people always open their wallets and give me money when I’m out there snarling at the frigid temps!

“Yeah, let those with beauty and options debate what to do! I’m all set for the winter months.”…”Escapades of Miles Alex”

“Photography Shoot”

September 20, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“I envy those dudes who are asked to do photo shoots with gorgeous photographers in their dimly lit studios. Seems so flattering and romantic, if I can say.

“The only time I tried that was when I answered an ad in a magazine tor a handsome fella to pose for a centerfold shoot for a ladies journal that was catering to single women.

“When I showed up at the studio, the photographer not only angrily turned on all the fluorescent switches in the studio, she also pulled out a gun to do another kind of shoot.

“Needless to say, I bolted out of there and never looked back. That was the end of my centerfold ambitions”…”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”

“Matching Pillowcases Only?”

September 14, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

In the old days, grandma and granddad cautioned against sex before marriage. It’s a caveat that many still accept. There is, though, a downside to following that prescription…these days, that is.

If one does, with so much blurring of the genders in fashion, custom, sexuality…and even in biology, one might end up bolting out of the honeymoon suite….not because of shyness, but at discovery that it’s not only the pillowcases that are matching…….”Reflections Along The Way”…

“The Real McCoy?”

September 12, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“We hung out uptown a lot and she seemed quite nice and friendly.

“For some reason though, I got the feeling she was a fake blonde…and I wondered why she would do that ’cause I’m not a fella that cares whether a woman is blonde or not. Despite my suspicions, she insisted that that was the real thing.

“Well, she forgot that I would find out the truth downtown”…”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”

“Smile And The World Will Smile With You!”

September 9, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“They say to smile and the world will smile with you. For some strange reason, it never seems to work for me, though.

“Take today, on this humid summer morning here in NYC. I walked out of my apartment heeling all sticky and sweaty, but with a cheery perspective, smiling at everyone on the street, waving to passersby, even attempting to crack jokes with the cop at the intersection directing traffic. I was in such a jolly mood, I even recited verses from the works of Milton and Shakespeare as I tumbled along.

“No one reciprocated my warmth and cheeriness. I did see a senior lady whip out her cell and a few moments later a van pulled up, and a man in a white coat followed by another with a net, dashed after me. I darted into the subway and am sitting here typing this status update, still trying to figure what that was all about.

“What a weird world we live in. Oh well, not to worry, though. My day is still off to a decent start. Even as I keep on smiling and reciting my verses, I am thankful that I somehow always end up getting a whole subway car to myself! Now if that isn’t getting off to a great start of the week here in NYC, then I sure don’t know what is!

“Happy Weekend, folks!…”Escapades of Miles Alex”

“There’s Always Charity To Fall Back On!”

September 9, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“Sometimes, one has to be resourceful to get by in life – especially when things don’t fall into one’s lap as they might sometimes do for others around one.

“When I was a lad, folks would always come up to me and say,
‘Son, when you grow up, you’ll have a hard time landing a good woman. These days, women go for looks or money, and since you have neither, you’d better be prepared to be a bachelor all your life.’

“See, I could have run for the hills, become a monk, or given up on life. But I did not. I did find a third way to snag a lovely woman. When all else fails, there’s always charity.

“The moral of my story is this – looks and money may get you in, but you can easily lose either someday. Never give up if you lack both. Your lady may not get a tax write-off, but if you can win her over by appealing to her charitable instincts, there’s no need to write yourself off either.”….”Tips For My Male Buddies”…Miles Alex.

“Just A Hot Babe Who’s Also Good In The Kitchen!”

September 8, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“I’m not one to fall for deceptive ads. I mean, I walk into a showroom and I never let the sales rep talk me into something I don’t really need. But I guess, loneliness drove me to scour online ads for a wife from the Far East. And I figured, what the hell, these western gals don’t even wanna turn on the kettle for their man when he comes home after a hard day’s work.

“So I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone and get a companion as well as a cook. The ad said she was a hot babe and that she was also good in the kitchen.

“Well, I met her as she disembarked the plane. Damn! Either this was the old bait and switch where she sent me her friend’s pics or she had photoshopped her original pic beyond recognition before emailing it to me. The only thing hot about her was the fever she caught when the plane flew over Alaska on its way to America.

“And good in the kitchen? Yeah, it was there that she would always devour the take- out I was forced to bring home every evening after work when I learned she did not even know how to light a stove”…”The Sad Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”

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“I’m Not Taken!”

August 23, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“Gorgeous women come up to me all the time whenever I step out, and ask me if I’m taken.

“When I say, ‘Yes, I am,’ they suck their teeth and walk away – mumbling how hard it is to find a cab in NYC.

“Guess when the summer is over, I’m gonna have to return this NYC Taxi & Limo T-shirt that my cheapo cousin gave me as a gift last Christmas.”….”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”

“Did Ya Just Whistle At Me, Hon?”

August 23, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“I guess there are some things in life that some men will never attain.

“I mean, all my life, I’ve seen lovely women go gaga over all kinds of fellas – except me. I’ve witnessed women sigh then faint at the beach when a dude would flex a muscle. I’ve seen gorgeous women run after guys who step out on a hot summer day clad in their tank tops and jogging pants.

“Whenever I do that, all I end up with is the neighbor’s Doberman chasing me down the street, barking loudly and angrily, while old women shriek in horror and hastily slam windows shut.

“Even on my honeymoon when I thought that at last I’d at least elicit a whistle from my lovely young bride, it was not to be. I entered the bedroom with the bouquet of flowers I’d just brought into the apartment. I did hear a whistle – but she grabbed the roses and asked me if I could turn off the kettle.”….”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”

“A Miser”

August 23, 2016 / Miles Alex / 0 Comments

“A miser is a man who, if given a choice between making love to a gorgeous sexy woman or saving a penny, will always go for the latter because all his life the only thing he ever learned to pinch was a penny”…..”Reflections Along The Way”…Miles Alex.