“These days, the ladies are not holding back like they used to before. I mean, every time I turn around – online or offline – I hear a woman whistling at some hunky dude, salivating, panting, and calling him sexy, as she dashes after him, knocking me out of the way.

“Now, I’m not an envious fella, but the only time I’ve ever been called hot was when I fell into a barbecue pit at a friend’s July 4th backyard party in Queens . And even then, the young lady reached in to grab the hot dogs and hamburgers instead of me”….”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”