“I envy those dudes who are asked to do photo shoots with gorgeous photographers in their dimly lit studios. Seems so flattering and romantic, if I can say.

“The only time I tried that was when I answered an ad in a magazine tor a handsome fella to pose for a centerfold shoot for a ladies journal that was catering to single women.

“When I showed up at the studio, the photographer not only angrily turned on all the fluorescent switches in the studio, she also pulled out a gun to do another kind of shoot.

“Needless to say, I bolted out of there and never looked back. That was the end of my centerfold ambitions”…”The Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”