“I’m not one to fall for deceptive ads. I mean, I walk into a showroom and I never let the sales rep talk me into something I don’t really need. But I guess, loneliness drove me to scour online ads for a wife from the Far East. And I figured, what the hell, these western gals don’t even wanna turn on the kettle for their man when he comes home after a hard day’s work.
“So I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone and get a companion as well as a cook. The ad said she was a hot babe and that she was also good in the kitchen.
“Well, I met her as she disembarked the plane. Damn! Either this was the old bait and switch where she sent me her friend’s pics or she had photoshopped her original pic beyond recognition before emailing it to me. The only thing hot about her was the fever she caught when the plane flew over Alaska on its way to America.
“And good in the kitchen? Yeah, it was there that she would always devour the take- out I was forced to bring home every evening after work when I learned she did not even know how to light a stove”…”The Sad Life and Times of Johnny Amazon”
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