People often say that the grass is always greener on the other side – meaning that things look better when you’re just looking in from the outside. And ever so often, I hear some immigrants reminisce about homelands left behind.

It’s a natural phenomenon to hold some nostalgia, to recall lands of birth, ways of life, familiar places, events, and individuals. But if one pauses to also recall the reasons one left a place behind, one can put everything into a more balanced perspective. There were undesirable circumstances too, aspects of one’s life, one’s environment, things in the status quo – political, economic, social, etc. – that were not ideal, or that were even frightening.

There’s always a trade-off for most decisions one makes in life – whether it be relocation from one city, village, region or country to another, changing careers, making choices in education, family size, or financial, romantic, and marital decisions; or any of a multitude of choices one must make along the way.

It’s always easy to reminisce about the past or to second-guess choices we make in life. It’s important though not to so romanticize about alternatives forsaken that we block out the negatives. Everything in life has its pros and cons. Reminiscing or reflecting is one thing. Forgetting or denying the full record and all the pluses and minuses weighed in making important decisions does not help in moving forward.

True, for example, the old countries for immigrants held many pleasant memories – but the present and future are usually much brighter for decisions made to exchange the old for the new.