The news is often filled with stories of triangular love affairs which result in the death of a spouse, and sometimes his or her lover, at the hands of an enraged marital or romantic partner gone ballistic. The legal system goes to work rapidly and once caught, the murderer – more often than not, a male – faces swift justice in the courts for the crime committed.

I often hear, though, individuals commenting that a specific murdered spouse deserved what they got for being “unfaithful.” It seems that while the law always recognizes the criminality of murder, moral condemnation is sometimes lacking, or is several steps behind.

This is appalling. Whether one recognizes the complex and dynamic nature of individual human beings and relationships or not, it seems to me that adultery does not rise to the level of criminality and that murder is not the penalty, even if it did. So many are prone to moral condemnation without knowing all the circumstances which a couple can face and must grapple with alone.

We are all, undoubtedly, entitled to moral or religious beliefs about cheating and adultery. But to assert that a murdered spouse “deserved” to be violently killed (as is often the case) for such acts, seems to me to add insult to injury.

Whatever hurt and pain a jilted lover may feel, human life is precious, and God is the final arbiter. It is no doubt sad and painful to experience alleged violations of trust or commitment – but taking the life of the one that one allegedly loves is both criminal and morally reprehensible. It is the opposite side of love, regardless of the just or unjust events which lead to someone seeking love in the arms of an extramarital partner.

As Jesus admonished, when the throng brought an adulteress before him for punishment, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”